does someone need to be emotionally detached from their caregivers to be emotionally available?

 It is one thing for someone to be in a relationship and another for their emotional self to be involved as well. The first implies being with another person, the second implies that they open up and are really emotionally attached to them.


With this in mind, just because someone is in a relationship does not mean that all parts of their being will be involved. It could be seen as the difference between simply putting your hand in the sea and getting your whole body wet.


A big difference


If someone only shares his body with another person and not with his heart, it will not be a very deep relationship. They can talk about what they have done and even express certain feelings, but they will be missing an essential element.


However, even though it will be, the experiences they shared with their partner and the time they spent with them may have caused them to bond with them. It will probably not be an attachment that is not related to love, an attachment that you feel strongly in your hearts, but it will still be there.


Totally unconscious


However, what is happening may not stand out to them, and that is because it could be what is normal. Having only certain parts of your relationship could be what has been going on for a long time.


Your relationship will then lack real depth, but you will not feel that you are missing anything. When it comes to your friendships, they may not be that deep either.


As usual


Over time, your partner may get to the point where what you offer is not enough. They may have been more open in the beginning and / or have become more open over time.


One could be happy that things are continuing as they are, thanks to the fact that they are not in touch with their need to create a deeper connection. The relationship as it is could be good for them.


The resistance


If you thought about changing your relationship and even getting closer to your partner, you could soon start to feel internal tensions. They may believe, at this point, that their partner wants and needs too much.


So it is not that they themselves are emotionally closed and that they are the ones who need to open up; is that your partner has issues that need to be addressed. If you dig deep, you may find that the thought of getting emotionally close to your partner makes you feel trapped and suffocated.


Divine intervention


In order for this relationship to move to the next stage in its evolution, it will be essential for one to realize that they have emotional work to do. If that doesn't happen, your partner will have to compromise or tolerate something that doesn't really serve them.


In order for your relationship to work, it will be necessary to realize what is happening and work with the baggage that comes up. This can end up being a time when they learn a lot about themselves and why they are the way they are.


Dive deep


First of all, you will have to ask yourself why they are emotionally closed and why it is difficult for them to give and receive love. Second, they will have to ask themselves why they would consider that their partner wants too much and needs only to express their desire more deeply.


As for the first challenge, it is likely to show that they have had at least one experience that was too much for them. To deal with what happened, they would have ended up disconnecting from their body and closing themselves emotionally.


A traumatized state


Whether this happened a few years ago or several decades ago, for example, it will continue to have an effect on your being and the way you respond to life. If they thought about what happened in their early years, they might find it at a difficult time in their lives.


Perhaps this was a time when they weren't getting the love and attention they needed to thrive in the right way. It may have been a time when they suffered some kind of abuse and / or neglect, and one of their caregivers, due to lack of boundaries, may have gotten too close to them.


The other part


If this is the case, it will make sense to know why they perceive their partner to want too much and feel trapped about getting emotionally close to them. What this will illustrate is that what they felt in the company of their caregiver who ended up shutting down is revealed by their partner.


When this pain is triggered, one will unconsciously see their caregiver in the same way that they saw him so many years ago. The upshot of all this is that you will not be able to be present and see your partner for who he is.


Draw the line


If they realize what is happening, they can deal with what does not belong to their partner. One way to think about it would be to say that it will be a time when you will emotionally separate yourself from your caregivers, leaving behind what no longer serves you.

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They may no longer live with their caregivers, and these people may not even be alive, but emotionally they will still be very attached to them. This process will not happen overnight and that is why it will require patience and perseverance.


Awareness


If this can be understood and they are willing to change their lives, they may need to seek outside support. It is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.


Author, transformational writer, teacher, and consultant Oliver JR Cooper is from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over 2,500 in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope with his valuable advice.


Learn more at: http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/


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