Is it really a surprise to learn that over 80 couples filed for divorce immediately after being released from China? Being together 24/7 is something we rarely experience for a significant period of time, maybe just around Christmas or on vacation, and then there are usually outside distractions.
So in these extraordinary times, let's take a look at ways to help your relationship survive COVID-19.
- Accept that there will be good days and bad days. Everyone has been affected by this pandemic. From the loss of people you know, your job, your business, your health, it is also the uncertainty of how long this period will be and the long term implications that can lead our minds to run scenarios' `` what if '' and cause changes in humor. Accept that if your partner has a "breakdown" it's not automatically about you, so don't take it personally.
- Talk to each other. Communication is essential at a time like this. Don't stop silently in your situation, but don't hold back from how you feel, either. Keep talking. Everything is different from normal. Our eating habits, alcohol and coffee consumption, exercise, social life, and sleep patterns have likely changed. Each has an impact on our mental and physical health and well-being.
- Sometimes allow yourself to be "pushed". If your partner is in a good situation, doesn't want to hear negativity, says “leave it for now” or “leave the misery”, sometimes prepare to accept that. Try to let your good humor wash over you.
- Stay connected and talk with others, with your family and friends. It helps to see that many people share your fears and concerns and experience similar irritations in their relationships. Maybe join online sites and chat rooms where you can share coping tips or be receptive to the many activities and interests available. Perhaps host group chats, virtual dinners, morning coffee shops, or book clubs where you can socialize and enjoy the company of a variety of people and activities.
- Agree to give yourself space and not to do everything together. There are times when you can go shopping, walk your dog, work, read or relax in a quiet bath and spend time alone. Again, this is not personal, but it does allow each space to “stay warm” together for a period of time.
- Enjoy leisure or distinct interests. You may want to study or are interested in a hobby that you normally don't have time for. Give them the opportunity to spend time on it while they can.
- Find new things you can do together, something you both have shown an interest in. Maybe you are planning a special vacation after COVID-19 or checking out your music catalog, old photographs, games you were playing. ; You can find hours of fun, laughter, and nostalgia to help your relationship survive COVID-19.
- When we are confined in our homes and far from all that is routine and familiar, it is understandable that someone explodes from time to time! Many of us feel we have little or no control. Our family structure, our work, our exercise routine, our social structure disappeared, almost overnight. Sorry for the occasional explosion. But if this happens more often, try to discuss what happened next when things are calmer.
- Be patient with each other. Accept that it's often the little things that cause the biggest irritation. Most likely a big complaint will be discussed at this point, while the smaller things like not emptying the trash, leaving a dirty mug on the table, not offering to make a drink could trigger underlying frustrations and annoyances. . If this happens, try to take a step back and agree to discuss it at a less tense time.
- Maybe you agree on a “timeout” word, phrase or action that can be used to create a pause if things seem too hot. Then separate for a while. Maybe you go for a walk, cool off, spend some time in the garden. Yes, sometimes, especially in these unprecedented days, we have to ignore certain things and not comment on or criticize anything that offends or dislikes. But if rudeness or temper tantrums occur more frequently, you should consider what your options are. It may be helpful to discuss issues with family, friends, or to use the helpline.
- Could alcohol be a factor? Alcohol sales have definitely increased, as has sugar and candy consumption, and time spent on gambling and pornography sites. Again, physical and mental health, daily exercise, maybe a walk outside, getting up regularly at the same time, showering, and maintaining a healthy routine all promote good health. , sleep and a better focus on their relationship.
- If money is an issue, perhaps negotiate a weekly or monthly allowance that everyone can spend as they see fit, agreeing that no comments or questions are made.
- Decide not to let the children dominate every waking moment. Some families insist that their homeschooled children wear school uniforms so that they know clearly that this is not an unexpected extra vacation. Plan your classes, but also schedule online exercise classes, crafts, reading, homework so that you have a quiet time during the day and don't get exhausted at night.
This period of confinement could be the time for you to bond, strengthen your love, closeness and connection, able to create many great memories along the way. A little thought, consideration, and sensitivity can help your relationship survive COVID-19.
Susan Leigh, counselor, hypnotherapist, relationship counselor, writer and media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. Works with individual clients, couples and offers workshops and corporate support.
She is the author of 3 books, `` Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact '', `` 101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday '' and `` Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain '', all on Amazon and with easy to read sections, tips and ideas. help you feel more positive in your life.
To request a copy or for more information, help, and free articles, visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net
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