As someone who has suffered from the weakening of social anxiety, I recently found myself thinking about why we care so much about the opinions of others. Of course, it is better to be popular than unpopular. But it goes far beyond mere popularity contests. It is something that is deeply rooted in the animal part of our psyche. If this component of the mind is overstimulated, it can lead to a miscalculation of reality, where fear and anxiety are accepted.
In college, I had to suffer from social anxiety to the point that I was too afraid to eat lunch in the canteen, instead, I would eat it in the safety of the bathroom cabin. It is a scenario that I remember with sadness and a terrifying feeling of hygiene. My anxiety at university was not limited to baths alone. I had hyper-episodes of doubts and self-awareness, which prevented me from traveling on the university bus. I tried it once. I stopped at the bus station 3, surrounded by my classmates. Alone, I perceived that all eyes were on me, and all the whispers, pushes, and laughter that were directed towards me. Of course, it was a mistake, but it is a form of anxiety, it is a hyper calculation of reality. Needless to say, it was the first and last time I took the free bus back. Instead, during all of my university studies, I traveled the ten kilometers round trip between my classes and my home. He did nothing to overcome my social fear, but he kept me in shape.
Throughout my adult life, I continued to experience social anxiety. He took me into the shadows, placed me on the outskirts of life. This, along with my stuttering, made me avoid speaking situations, a legacy that is still on my shoulder. All this confusion made me feel lonely. It made it difficult for me to meet new people, to the point that I graduated from university without making a single friend. To add to the mix, my social anxiety made it difficult for me to find a relationship. I spent fourteen years alone and alone until I decided to fight. In 2013, I did something about it. I reluctantly joined a dating site and even more reluctantly for certain dates. At six, I now have a wonderful, understanding and wonderful couple, and three incredible children. Life can be good when you don't let fear stop you.
But all this socialist fear made me think. And, in the jungle of my mind, I discovered why we are so worried about what people think of us. If they don't like us, then there is a fear of ridicule among peers, which leads to the fear of being rejected and, ultimately, the frightening prospect of social isolation and ostracism. If you like it, we are offered inclusion, protection, and companionship.
We must understand that being alone does not mean that we cannot or will not survive. The problem is that all this fear is rooted in our primitive psyche in the dark corners of our subconscious; Therefore, like a master puppeteer, he plays in our conscious minds, giving us a lot of fear and anxiety.
Becoming a social pariah in the past was an extremely dangerous prospect. It was essential for our survival that we lived in communities. Security in numbers, to protect us from attacks by large animals and other tribes, without forgetting to help our missions to hunt large prey. We also depend on others to have a company, to procreate and stimulate our basic human needs.
So this is it. What people think of us is important at the primitive or subconscious level. However, in reality, should we really care? We have no control over what people think, so we should really waste our precious time thinking about their thoughts. We often have enough problems with our own thoughts without taking someone else's.
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